In times of difficulty, we often ask ourselves, ‘Where is God in this?’ or ‘What is God doing in me through this – what is it that I need to learn?’ And these questions are really important to us and help us grow. But often for the prophets in the Bible, their circumstances were less about what God was doing in their lives, and more about using their lives to portray His message to the people. An example of this is Hosea whose marriage God used to reveal His heart for His people and how He would love them regardless of what they had done, to bring them back to Him. And this got me thinking: if God can use our lives to bring a message to people, what is my life currently reflecting of God’s heart?
With this question in mind, I started to think about things recently and noted down all the times where I have found things hard. Firstly, there was the birth of my daughter. She was over two weeks overdue and it was a fight to allow her to come naturally and in the way that I would have liked for her. Then there was a trip to Scotland that I was to do with Helen and my youngest daughter for an appointment at the Global Prophetic Alliance. We planned hard and paid for flights – only for it to be cancelled the night before we left due to a Covid-19 outbreak. And then there is my house move. We all know that moving is a stressful event in life and I have already moved twice before, but this move seems to have every problem imaginable! We even had our things packed and loaded onto a lorry, all for it to collapse at last minute and be unloaded back into our old house! We have been living in box city for several weeks with two young children and still don’t know if we will move or must start looking for a new property with the whole process starting again. It’s both exhausting and stressful and is taking its toll on many areas of our lives.
Now if I ask myself the usual question of ‘Where is God in this?’ then it is often hard to see or understand, and of course God wants to develop patience and an anchoring in Him in these sorts of times. But if I ask, like the prophets in Scripture, ‘What message is God portraying through my circumstances?’, then the answer becomes very different indeed. You see, in all of these things, there is a time of preparation and of being ready but having to wait. I was ready for my daughter to be born, yet had to wait until she was ready. I was prepared to fly to Scotland with map and passport in hand, and yet I now have to wait to go again. We are ready to move house but still we have to wait.
And like all these things, God is ready but having to wait. He is longing to come and dwell among us, desperate for intimacy and partnering with us and empowering us through the Holy Spirit to do incredible things in His name. But we, in our quest for independence and understanding, make Him wait. We reject what He is offering because we do not think it is necessary or for today and often limit and restrict Him to the small spaces we leave aside for Him in our lives. But He is ready and waiting for us to come to Him and say, ‘Here I am!’
My youngest daughter is nearly 4 months old and refuses to take a bottle. I love feeding her, even though I am craving sleep and space, and it is a great privilege to know that my body has sustained her for many months both before and after she was born. But the stress of all the waiting in recent weeks has taken its toll and this week I was unable to feed her. It was horrendous and heart-breaking. She was hungry and would not take a bottle and I longed to feed her with every fibre of my being, but it would not happen. I had to wait. And so it is like this with God.
John 14:12 says:
‘Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.’
The signs and wonders of the New Testament and the fullness of life that Jesus offers, is available for us today and God is desperate to give it to us, but He is having to wait. Allowing Him only in our devotional times or in fellowship on a Sunday is not how Jesus lived and neither is it how we should live. Instead, we should adopt a lifestyle of constant communion with God, allowing Him to grow and be established within us. God doesn’t want us to have a half-measure of Him, He wants us to receive ALL that He has to give. But if we want to be in full union with Him and live the life He wants for us, we must stop making Him wait.
Lord, I am sorry for confining You to the hurried quiet times and Sunday services of my life. I am sorry that so often I try to push through in my own strength and forget the infinite resources relationship with You places at my disposal. Thank You for waiting for me. Here I am. Holy Spirit, I give You permission to flow into more of my life. I give You my work time, my rest time and my play time. I give You my journeys, my cooking and eating, my baths and showers, my surfing and scrolling. Nothing is off-limits. Amen.
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